“I would describe myself as a work-in-progress.

“Being in an asian family, I felt pressure to pursue a high-pay occupation, especially in high school. My mental health was low and I wanted to live up to my family’s standards. They told me, “Don’t go into arts, that’s not going to make you money.” It broke my heart, because it’s true, but that’s part of me that I love. Having other people say what they want for me and not listen to what I want really affected my independence. That’s why I’m still a work-in-progress. I’m trying to discover what I like, rather than what other people want for me.

“My relationship with my family is better than before. With certain family members, I was in an abusive relationship. I caved-in during my childhood and it took a toll on my development. I feel like I’m a late bloomer. I’ve missed out on things that should’ve been given to me -- not because I deserve it, but because I’m a human being. It took time to heal, but I had a lot of good friends who listened to me. They showed me who I was from their perspective, and helped me see that I’m not what my family member would say I was while they were angry. Me and my family members -- we’re also a work-in-progress. I wish I could be more understood, but I know it’s not realistic because of the way that they are. Sometimes they won’t accept that what they’re saying to me and how they’re saying it is affecting how I feel.

“Who is someone influential in your life?”

“My grandmother. As much as she can be overbearing and overprotective, she always stood up for me. She stuck by me when I was sick. She was the one who let me confide in her. She’s the bread-winner in our family. Being a female, that was hard. She was the one to raise me, because, sometimes, when you’re young, you’re not ready to be a mom, right? I give it to her for supporting and loving me, even when I didn’t love myself. She sacrificed a lot for our family -- and I’ve told her that because when she passes, I want her to know that. I haven’t been really confiding in her these days, because at my age, I feel guilty about it. I think that affected our relationship.”

“Working with the YMCA was such a big adventure. Of course, there are ups and downs. I feel as if the downs, as much as the ups, have been beneficial for my growth. But I remember times when working at the Y was really exhausting. I realized that I had to take care of myself first before caring for the kids. I learned that the hard way. My mental health suffered from it. If it weren’t for my family’s support, I wouldn’t have been able to rejuvenate myself. Working with the Y has been an experience that really made me break out of my shell. The kids pushed out of my comfort zone, be more confident about what I can offer, and taught me more about who I am and who I can be. I really give it to the kids for that.

“There was this one child who had behavioural issues. We’ll call him “H”. He had trouble with a lot of kids and staff. I had to really adjust myself to him. That was already something I was working on in itself. It was difficult to be able to be confident with a kid who I didn’t know how to care for. I remember that he once ran away from the Y and we had to follow our protocol. That was the first experience I had dealing with such a thing. When I talked to him, I realized that I had to talk in a way that was patient, firm, but still kind. He taught me a lot about patience, and made me learn that I wasn’t as patient as I thought I was. I felt as if -- even if he didn’t realize it -- he really helped me in my development. I wish I could tell him, but it’s hard for me to tell that to a ten-year-old, you know? We were kind of like a back and forth, lava and water mix, but it got to a point where he warmed up to me very nicely. There was this one parent in the PAC who told me she asked H who his favourite staff member was -- and even though I’d like to ignore such questions, I just listened. He said it was me. Out of all the staff, I didn’t expect it to be me because of the way I was struggling and stressed out and didn’t know how to care for him. I felt very honoured. I cherish that small detail, even if it was just him saying it to someone else. That’s a time when I felt like I was resilient, and I feel like I made an impact on H.”